Ok...since I got back from TCF Convention in middle of July I have been wanting to blog about my adventures and experiences there. Truly was quite a wonderful 3 days there...and extras were getting to visit Teresa Jo on the way down in Bakersfield,Ca; getting to spend time with Susan Jaeger-Barker ~friend from High School..met up on FB last year...and visitng Mack's family, & My family, and Kym Tomsett whom I grew up with on the last day @ Disneyland. 6 days of excitment...learning and around each and every corner were surprises!
First of all I signed her up for lessons at Granada Hills Public pool 1982 or so..I know Eric was a small baby. I went with her..and mom babysat Eric. first day..they told her she had to jump off the high dive and I was in the water ready to catch her after she jumped. She was so nervous and almost didn't jump...it took her about 10-15 minutes to get up the nerve to plunge into the gigantic pool. She did it all by herself...and I was so very proud of her! She did well after that learning to swim across the pool and become water safe.
This story re-applies to 18 years later...when she was at Parris Island, Marine Boot camp. They made her plunge down a gigantic wooden wall on a rope...and she told me that it reminded her of when she was learning to swim and had to jump off the big dive at the pool. I wasn't there with her at the time she did that at Parris Island..but I did go back for her graduation and saw the wall with her and she explained all the steps of her boot camp experiences...She was mostly proud that she repelled down that giant wall...shot guns at the range...(had a bullet go thru her hat even...Yikes! ....I still have it to prove it) and saw her bunk and area they marched around each day...It was a big big place..and I am so very thankful that I got to be there to experience one of most proud days she had in her life..and my heart was so very happy and proud of her then. What a huge achievement...and getting her MOS in Aviontics was a superior achievement. She did well.
So all this had to be told because at the TCF Conference..I sat next to a special lady at the Saturday night dinner...who I ignored at first..but when we got to talking...she told me that I needed to blogg about this experience Bonnie Jo had because...it was important to Bonnie Jo.
this is a part of a letter I wrote about the experience that Saturday night at TCF conference, Costa Mesa 2012...
I
have been wanting to talk to you about what happened at the conference.
Everything was very informative and helpful..sat in on a “Blogging your grief”
session…already knew a lot of it..but it was informative…We sat in on several
sessions… 2 about dreams…and one about “Signs from our children” –which was a
repeat..but so good to hear again… and then 2 sessions with Sue Jaegar Barker
on Sucide..dealing with it …(her daughter,38,named Leslie,she
was a teacher== did that just 4 months ago). Susan Jaegar Barker
was a girl from my High School …we knew each others names and I don’t remember
much else about her… We friended each other on our Granada Hills High Group page
in Facebook about a year or so ago. When her daughter died I didn’t
respond even because I think we were gone or something…and when it finally hit
me that her daughter had done a sucide death, I told her my heartfelt
sadness for her. I entered her on our FB Chapter group on FB and she was
glad to be included. She asked me if I was going to Convention (I had
posted information about it) down by her…and told her yes…by myself…and she
asked if she could go also. So that is how we ended up being able to be
there—not alone—together!!!. *( the most amazing part is
that Susan approached me about going to convention---I didn’t even ask her—as I
should have in the first place)
When I went to the Portland conference 2009 I was thinking it could never be
topped, as it was so well planned out and helpful in so many ways. But
this Costa Mesa Conference was over the top. Here I will tell you
why. On Friday they do a big Banquet Lunch…and then on Saturday night
they have a big dinner Banquet. The people at our Table were from all
over the world…Australia, Canada, New York, Illinois…etc..there were about 10
of us with 2 seats to the right of me,not taken. At the last minute
before it started a normal looking lady came in and sat right next to me.
She had big eyes…and was a quiet personality—I thought. I talked to
everyone at the table first and Sue and I are little chatter boxes…and finally
after about 10 minutes I turned to the lady next to me and introduced
myself—where we were from etc... Asked her about her loss…her son had
been in a car accident about the same time as when we lost Bonnie Jo, so I knew
she was a seasoned bereaved parent. I asked her what she did for work…and
she said she was a social worker, and also worked with Hospice also…more with
Hospice now. I tried to think of things to ask about her life…asked her
if she ever had any dreams of her son… Well that was the right question
to ask…and after she told me one of her experiences…I told her about
mine. I think I had told her we had sat in on Mitch Carmody’s session https://www.facebook.com/#!/mitch.carmody1
and also the other dream session carla@dreamingkevin.com that we didn’t think was
as good as mitch’s class. After I had fully talked to her about my
visit/Dream I had with Bonnie Jo 3 years after her loss..and how real it
was…she knew she could truly talk to me(safely, and I was open minded about
this subject) about Bonnie Jo (she said she doesn’t talk to
everyone..just people that she knows she needs to talk to). She jumped straight to
Bonnie Jo’s questions….when I had ended my lenghtly description of my
visit/dream with Bonnie Jo so long ago..but still remember it
vividly!!!. This is how she went… “Bonnie Jo wants
to know…”why haven’t you blogged about her water incident yet?” (I have to
blog that incident soon on her blog) My heart and soul shook
me to my core… I had not told anyone!!!!!!…about what I had been thinking about
writing about on her blog on that subject…(More later)….because I thought I
should…but just didn’t get around to doing it yet…--- I responded…”How do you
know that?” she said “Bonnie Jo is here….she is very near to you at all
times” I responded “I know that but even more…couldn’t really believe it
was happening right then…she told me about Bonnie Jo & her personhood and I had
asked her earlier in our conversation that I knew Bonnie Jo was happy doing
what she was doing…but I still needed to know what she was doing…(silly mom)
she immediately smiled and said..you probably know in your heart what she
does…”she is a greeter!” and Smiled real big…and I started to kinda cry..tears
of happiness, tears of Joy. I was so overwhelmed with this amazing experience
I just couldn’t believe that she came to me at this point 12 years later… What
a gift. She also told me about Bonnie Jo’s person hood…that she was very
strong person…was “BRAZIN” in her approach to things… and also loved
Dancing—she said she was at that moment Dancing around us all with her hands up
with joy!..so excited in her expression… This lady could actually see what was
going on in her area around us. She explained that it was like they
are behind a TV screen…and it isn’t turned on and until the power is turned on
then they can communicate with us easily. Great description. She
told me that she knew she would be speaking to someone of importance that night
at the table…and of course I asked her when she knew that….she said when
she made her reservation last October… (Our convention
reservations are put at a special table for the banquets and I told Susan
Jaegar Barker to request to sit next to me or she would have been on the other
side of the banquet with someone she didn’t know…) I made my reservations
back in March… so we had a divine appointment made by Bonnie Jo at that
time…she knew it, I didn’t…and still couldn’t believe it. During
our session…it was like no one else was around me….even though in the Banquet
room there were over 1000 people having dinner and there was lots of noise…etc…
I didn’t hear anything else…except what she was pouring on me…lots of
information…I needed to hear and know. It truly was a unexpected
experience. She did also say that Sue’s daughter and Bonnie Jo were
friends and pulled their resources to get the whole event to happen, that
evening!. After everything…was said…the program started …a speaker, and
the candlelighting service…and we all hugged and cried and walked away in a
daze… It truly was something I will never ever forget! Even Susan talked
to her after the event alittle and was blown away… I got the lady’s
card..her name is Chris..and is a spiritual teacher…it says…
Also..I did ask her about all the orbs that I get in pictures all the time…
So strange as this might seem to you ….it did
happen and was so thrilling to connect in such a special way..and
unexpectedly…the conference was excellent anyways…but it was over the top
with this event… I was on cloud 9 from it the rest of the trip… ..but I didn’t really ask for this…it was
dumped right on my doorstep…and I am so thankful for the whole thing…
So guess that is all for now...wanted to share this finally...had to really think about it for along time before I felt ok about putting it on the blogg... I bet you all think it is totally wrong to believe and experience things like this...but it really did happen...I didn't seek this out...she found me. :)
So til the next entry....
hugs & Prayers,
Bonnie Jo's MOM....Bette Jo
